Only I know.......
All these nights will pass like this..
No one will have any idea of what I think on my roof looking at the sky. The words of my diary have their reach limited to me. The report of my brain scanned by a doctor is just up to me. And only I know how many times I stopped buses just for searching that face in that particular place.
Only I know the real address of the hero of stories I have woven on the world's grieving tunes.
When I close my eyes in a lighted room, and how I see myself falling between the black dots and yellow backgrounds? Only I know...
Only I know, how I threw my cellphone and spectacles when my fingers refused to delete her texts and eyes refused to stop looking at her pics. I am not able to tell or explain a few things about myself to anyone... So sometimes I consider mirror as a second person and spend hours talking about such things to mirror. When I crack any self-made joke, I hear the laughs, then only I know how I also want to laugh freely like them.
This thing is also known to me that I want to see the faces of boys from all over the world whose face is covered by their sweetheart's scarf. By looking at their face I want to judge my face. I need a familiar scarf to hide my ash-looking face.... And only I know this thing
When I suddenly wake up at night and try to fill the empty space on the left side of my bed in the arms, then only I know that whose soul can be involved in the measurement of my arms. Nobody knows the things limited to you, they know nothing. No one thought so deeply of me and no one could even think.. If someone tries to do so, then he disappears after few years, no months no no actually days.
After missing, they only get erased from memory. Gradually, their face starts to tarnish. And I know where the fainted faces are lost in the space.
Shikhar Pathak
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